Grief

My older brother, Roy, would have been 62 today. I am turning 57 on Thursday. We were 5 years and 5 days apart. As adults, we were really close. We had survived a crazy childhood and were doing okay. I knew he struggled with “issues” and I thought he was doing alright.   Ten years ago, 4 days after his birthday and the day before mine, he took his life.  I talked to him on his birthday and he assured me things were looking up. Then on my birthday I got the phone call from the medical examiner in Portland. I was devastated to say the least and my birthday has never been the same. I know he wouldn’t want me to not be happy on my birthday, but it definitely is hard. I try, but little things trigger memories and then I’m lost in a funk. Over the years, I have had a lot of family members pass, but losing my brother to suicide is really difficult to move past. I am in therapy and know how to get my mind back on track.  I could just use some extra prayers to ease my anxiety and help me be more at ease.  Thank you❤️🙏