Growing up I thought I was a Christian because my dad was. I didn’t know what it was. I grew up in a Christian/catholic household. My mom had 4 boys and 4 girls. My mom treated us girls not so good.

My grandma who was like my mother died 1 year after my high school graduation. Then 3 years later my mom passed away. I have a total of 5 children, 2 I gave up for adoption. My 2nd child was my son who is now 11. During pregnancy I had a possible PE in my left lung. I hemorrhaged to the point I had past out from losing so much. They had to preform 2 surgeries back to back because the 1st one wasn’t a successful in stopping the bleeding. The 1st one I gave up had a bowl obstruction when she was born. In an out of the hospital for surgeries 3x in 4months. Before the 3rd surgery she kept throwing up to the point she laid lifeless in my arms. I was in an abusive relationship at the time with their father. I started abusing the narcotics I was prescribed from my doc at the time. She was given up for adoption. I was eventually introduced to a harsh drug. In 2014, I had my 4th. Then my kids were taken from me and their dad. I went into treatment and broke it up with their dad. I managed to stay sober for years. I went back to church for years and i got Baptized because in treatment I had given my whole life over to Jesus. I had my last daughter in Dec. 2019. I lapsed 1x and I was on the floor and almost died. If it wasn’t for God waking up my son to come find me my kids wouldn’t have a mother anymore. My kiddos are now staying with my pastor’s family thanks to the Lord.

It is so very bad out there folks, and I had to learn the hard way. I feel God was trying to get my attention and I wasn’t listening. I kept my past a secret from the church because I thought they would judge me. I have rededicated my life to Christ. Going to a faith based meetings at a church and started attending as well. I want to help show others that recovery is possible.The song that helped save my soul is “Heaven help Me” by Zach Williams.